Tarot Reading - Justin

Justin asks:

Hopefully this isn’t too weird, but I was thinking my “question” could be in a different format.  Sometimes I feel like if I ask a specifically worded question, I’m almost limiting the cards ability to speak to me because there are only so many answers.  If it’s okay with you, I’d like my “question” to be almost a word cloud, and then you can let me know what you think the cards are bringing up based on those prompts or areas? I’d say these are words/phrases that I would put in front of tarot and you:

Focus.  Drive.  Hustle culture.  Time to push.  Time to rest.  Balance.  Where I’ve been.  Where I’m going.  Creative inspiration.  What’s important?

Card 1 - Current Situation - Eight of Swords 

In the Rider Waite Colman Smith deck, the Eight of Swords depicts a woman, bound and blindfolded, surrounded by eight swords. She feels trapped, scared, victimized, and yet... there's no one physically guarding her. If she were to wriggle off her blindfold, she would see that she's alone, and with a little ingenuity, she'd be able to escape her predicament. Some people interpret the eight of swords as "victim mentality," but I see it more as "whatever your perceived obstacles are can be easily overcome if you are honest with yourself."

I would ask yourself these questions as you contemplate this moment in your life: In which ways do you feel in control of your time/life, and in which ways do you feel like you are at the mercy of others/circumstances? If you were completely in the driver's seat of your own life (which you are, but we'll get to that), how would you spend your time? Imagine for a moment that you are driven only by pleasure and desire, what would your life look like? Obviously, we can't just be driven by pleasure and desire all the time – we all have to make money, pay taxes, get life insurance, go to the DMV, etc – but I would argue that we could all stand to bring passion and pleasure back to the forefront of our decision making. Most people are actually good (seems hard to believe in this nightmare timeline we've ended up in, but it's still true – most people are fundamentally good). The decisions we make to pursue our own desires are often in the best interest of everyone around us (as long as we are ethical in that pursuit). It's that sneaky American/Capitalist/Puritanical thing that makes us feel like pleasure is selfish and the only way to be good is to work ourselves to death, or at the very least to feel constantly stressed and aggrieved.

Are there ways that you feel held hostage by circumstance? Are there obligations you are bound by that do not excite you?

This spread suggests that some of this might be more in your control than you know... How can you make small changes to create more balance between the things you must do and the things you want to do? How can you prioritize the things that fill you up?

Card 2 - Challenge - Nine of Wands

The Nine of Wands approaches burnout. It's that feeling of limping toward the finish line bruised and battered but still managing to get things done. The Nine of Wands in the position of "Challenge" (and crossing the Eight of Swords) suggests that this feeling might be something that you may inadvertently be seeking out. The Nine of Wands can be kind of addictive actually (I say from experience). The Nine of Wands is capable, driven, knocked around but still getting it done. Perhaps you thrive in some of that chaos? And because you thrive, perhaps it is harder than it looks to bring more balance into your day to day life? Are there ways that you are inadvertently creating situations that drum up chaos? Are there moments you can point to where you've been both a firefighter and the arsonist?

Even when you feel like a superhero for accomplishing everything you need to do on only two hours of sleep, you're still setting yourself up for a fall down the road. At the very least, you're setting yourself up for a debt that becomes harder and harder to repay.

I secretly love that Nine of Wands feeling, and it's definitely something I need to watch out for. I love firing on all cylinders, thriving in the chaotic melee, laser-focused on my goals. There's nothing more addictive to me (except maybe alcohol) than someone saying, "Wow, I can't believe how productive you are with all of this insanity on your plate." Sometimes I need to admit that there are elements of that insanity that are my own doing, purposely setting myself up for the feeling of limping toward a finish line. When I'm in a Nine of Wands moment, there's always a tiny voice somewhere saying, "uh oh..." but most of the time I ignore it until I crash.

Your spread suggests that while you are absolutely capable of thriving in chaos, it can leave you feeling like the Eight of Swords, a victim of circumstances rather than the driver of your own destiny. This spread seems to be warning you to seek out a better balance before you hurt yourself or cause yourself unnecessary pain.

Card 3 - Need to Focus On - Three of Swords

The Three of Swords is heartbreak, disappointment, betrayal. This card in this position suggests that there is something that you need to grieve. The Three of Swords is obviously a difficult card, but it invites you to take a moment to feel your feelings. There's a lot of shitty shit going on right now, I don't know if you've heard... The Nine of Wands thing to do would be to push those heartbreaks aside and just keep working, hoping that work will distract you from feeling anything... Your spread suggests that this will not help you in the long run.

Maybe you're afraid that if you let yourself feel disappointment or heartbreak, it might consume you. Maybe you feel like the way to combat any feeling about existential dread (because of politics, human rights, the environment, personal loss, or literally anything else, take you're pick) is to keep your head down and try to ignore the ways the world feels like its unraveling. You're a happy person, a positive person, a funny person, and maybe you don't see the value in letting yourself get sad or dwelling in what's wrong if there's nothing you can do about it.

This spread suggests that not only will allowing yourself to feel the feelings help you cope, it'll actually bring you into balance more completely. Pretending something doesn't exist is not the same as healing it. Acknowledging grief or disappointment actually allows you to care for yourself and others, and does not allow the emotions to grow unchecked and out of control. Acknowledging the reality of a difficult situation is different from losing yourself in it. You don't need to dive into a pit of despair, but it would be wise to tend to your emotional needs rather than denying they exist.

Card 4 - Your Past/Leaving - Five of Swords

You are leaving behind a time of conflict, miscommunication, rumors and nastiness. The five of swords is all about conflict, particularly within the element of air and the suit of swords. The five of swords often takes the form of arguments and nasty words, the type of things that really hurt and are not easily walked back.

For awhile now you've been dealing with people who are difficult to communicate with or who purposefully misconstrue your words. I'm sure this has been frustrating (perhaps it is related to the Three of Swords, and is part of what you must acknowledge and grieve before you can move on).

The good news is, this time is in the past. If you acknowledge those feelings and move through them healthily, you'll be moving into a time where you are surrounded with more positivity and people who are truly interested in communicate effectively. Acknowledging whatever led to that five of swords conflict can also help you avoid similar conflicts in the future. Again, your spread advises facing your problems head on in order to move past them.

Card 5 - Strengths - Two of Cups

Your romantic relationship is strong. You are in love, and your person is solidly in your corner. You can lean on each other, and you can rest assured that this relationship is solid. Per your question, I think this card also suggests that this is a time to nurture your one on one relationships, romantic and otherwise. Just because you can rely on your partner does not mean you should not prioritize the relationship. Even if the relationship can survive moments of hectic stress and nine of wands deadlines, the relationship deserves time, care, and energy. You'll never regret taking time to plan a romantic date or vacation, or even just a binge-watching marathon. This card is again suggesting that you lean into pleasure.

Card 6 - Near Future - Page of Wands

The Page of Wands is a creative beginner, bursting with ideas and inspiration. This card suggests that you are about to embark on something new in your creative life – this could herald new ideas, perhaps a change in mediums (are you about to write a book!?!?). Whatever it is, change is coming.

This is a moment for curiosity, to quiet your inner critic, and allow yourself to explore new ideas in a more expansive way. Let your passions guide you. Moving through pain, disappointment, or hurt will allow you to gain access to new parts of your subconscious. You are about to have a big and exciting idea, if you give yourself the rest to allow your subconscious and your imagination to percolate.

Card 7 - Advice - Five of Cups

This spread is really telling you that there is unprocessed grief that you need to work through.

In what ways do you feel isolated or sorrowful? Grief doesn't always show up in obvious ways. It is impossible to experience a life without sorrow. Grief is what makes happiness more spectacular.

Your grief/disappointment/heartbreak will not swallow you whole. It is okay to acknowledge the things that you feel burdened by. It is okay to acknowledge sadness or loss. The card that comes next in the suit of cups is, obviously, the six of cups, a card about children, vitality, wonder, innocence, playfulness, and fun. The five of cups reminds us that in order to reach that playful spirit within, we cannot shy away from the hard things. Allow yourself to take an inventory of your life – are there resentments, griefs, slights or betrayals you are holding on to? How can you move through them in order to clean the slate for new beginnings?

At the very least, these cards about grief suggest to me that you need some rest, companionship, and fun. When times are hard (as they clearly are right now), it's important to acknowledge and hold space for pain, while prioritizing pleasure. Hold your friends, family, and community close. Don't be afraid to feel the big feelings. That's the only way to move past them.

Card 8 - Environment - Queen of Pentacles

Your material needs are met (this is also affirmed by the 2 of cups in your spread). You have a really beautiful home life according to your cards. You're successful, in love, a leader in your family and community. Your career is good and prosperous. Your home is a happy one, filled with love, support, and care. This is a good reminder as you think about ways to grieve whatever it is you must grieve. When it comes to what truly matters, you have a life filled with community and love. In reference to your question, this could indicate that it's okay for you to take a little rest or to spend more time with your family and friends. Maybe this is a moment to set down the hustle for a while and tend to your domestic life. Your imagination and passion is entering a fertile and productive phase, but you don't need to push it. Great work takes time.

Card 9 - Hopes and Fears - Six of Wands

The six of wands is about victory. It's a card that says "I told you so." This is such an interesting card in this position. Victory is often both a hope and a fear. What if you get exactly what you want? What if everything works out? What if you win?

Victory is exciting and accomplishments feel great, but there are also consequences to success. Success often begets more opportunity, which means that you'll be forced to make choices, prioritize, and continue to try to achieve a sense of balance. The spread reminds you that just because you can win something, doesn't mean that you should at all costs. It's okay to say no to opportunities if those opportunities feel like they will deprive you of balance or happiness. Remember, the Nine of Wands is supposed to be temporary. It's okay to occasionally push yourself hard to make it over the finish line, but as a constant state? That's no way to live. If victory has to be won at all costs, you may lose out on other parts of your life.

Victory is yours. You've made it – you've got the material stability of the Queen of Pentacles. Now it's time to actually reap some of the rewards you've spent years sowing. Have some fun, prioritize your life and your happiness, follow your passions and pleasure, give yourself a little bit more of a break. You don't need to maintain a breakneck speed at all times to be the success that you clearly are. You've accomplished a lot already and you will accomplish much more, especially if you create more balance for yourself, and allow yourself to enjoy the beautiful life you've created.

Card 10 - Possible Future Outcome - The Magician

The Magician is a creative genius, the master of ceremonies, the life of the party. He is charming, brilliant, hilarious, a leader. He doesn't need any fancy bells or whistles to create his magic, it comes from within him. What a fucking great card to get as your possible future outcome!

This card reminds you that even if you allow yourself more balance, that balance will not come at the cost of your success. You've got everything within you already to be a success. You already are one! Life isn't a race to be won. It's an experience. The Magician knows that around every corner there are new opportunities, and that each day is brimming with possibility. Allow yourself to celebrate everything you've already accomplished. Remember that hustling is not an every day mode. Use sparingly! You've got big dreams and you have everything in your power to accomplish all of them. Allow yourself to be confident in that knowledge. Have a date night, go on vacation, put down your phone. The work will be there tomorrow. Your life is happening right now.

Readers, as always, if you have a different interpretation, or any questions/comments, please leave them in the comments section! And if you'd like a reading, please email me the name you'd like me to use for you and your question at WitchsMarkEli@gmail.com – I've got a list going and I'll get to all of them. It's just gonna take me some time! Don't fret! Your questions will be answered!