Tarot Reading - Halley

Welcome to a new Witch's Mark series! Kicking us off is Halley, a novelist with a question about how to recapture the joy of writing. Here's her question:

I've been working on a book project for the last two years (not my first—I've published two others) and I'm feeling my enthusiasm for it wane. It's starting to feel overworked and like I'm no longer sure if this is the book I want to write (although another idea has not yet appeared). My question for a reading is this: What actions can I take to get my joy back in this project (or maybe just joy in writing in general)? 

For this reading, I used the Rider Waite Colman Smith deck.

Card 1 - Current Situation — The Hierophant

Right now you are feeling hemmed in by structure, the “system/the man," old ways of doing things. The Hierophant represents teachers and orthodoxy. Is it possible that part of what you are feeling is that your process has gotten stale? Maybe you’ve been adhering too closely to what has worked in the past but is no longer serving you? The Hierophant suggests that you may be listening to others (even within your own head), instead of relying on your intuition to guide you. Forget what your mentors or other figures of authority have told you about the way things must be done. It’s time to shake things up.

Card 2 - Challenge - 4 of Wands

The four of wands is about celebration and joy. And it’s clear from your question that this is your current problem — you want to feel joy, but you are being hemmed in by a reliance on old ways, or external pressure. I wonder if perhaps this card is also suggesting that you are saying that you want to feel joy, but that you may be preventing yourself from doing so, either because you feel some pressure to conform or to do what has worked before. Maybe you feel you’re not allowed to have fun right now (this is something that I feel all the time when I'm writing – like joy is some kind of distraction rather than a necessary part of the creative process). Perhaps this card suggests that you should take a short break, do something that is purely joyful and fun (and may not even have a single thing to do with writing — though I’ve found that, ultimately, everything is writing) to shake you out of your doldrums.

Card 3 - Need to Focus On — Queen of Swords

The court cards represent people and personalities, sometimes people we know, but in this case, I really think this card represents you. I always think of the Queen of Swords as the badass writer card (can you believe how intensely this reading is grasping your situation right now? I’m always stunned by how randomly selected cards seem guided by something greater than ourselves, but I digress…). It’s time to focus on returning to your badass writer self, the Queen of Swords, a master of truth and communication. To me, this card suggests that you may be lying to yourself in some way right now, and it’s time to come clean. If a deception or delusion does not leap immediately to mind, perhaps it is something that Spirit is picking up on that you have not yet recognized. In what ways are you deluding yourself? Is there a drumbeat in your soul that you have been ignoring? This card urges you to get quiet, look at things from a new angle, and remember that you are not a beginner. As you mentioned in your question, you have already published two books. You are a writer. You are the Queen of Swords. And if you can access that part of yourself, the master within, she will tell you where you need to go next.

Card 4 — Your Past/Leaving — 3 of Pentacles

The three of pentacles is a card about collaboration. In the Rider Waite Colman Smith deck, three people are discussing a building project. These are the three people who’s powers combine to build this chapel. In this reading, the tarot suggests that you are moving away from collaboration, and perhaps you are entering a lonely phase of writing (one of the darkest places a writer can be, but also one of the most fruitful). Again and again in this reading, I am receiving the message that you must stop weighing the opinions of others over your gut instincts. Trust yourself. For example:

Card 5 - Strengths - The Moon

Your strength is The Moon. The moon is a feminine, watery card of emotions and intuition. The Moon can sometimes represent mental illness, chaos, or confusion, but it also represents that small voice of knowing in your creative mind. Often, I have found in the writing process, it means both. The tarot suggests that the discomfort you are feeling in this moment will lead to growth. You know the answers to your questions, and though you have reached a moment of confusion, stagnation, and even dread, you should stick with this project but approach it with fresh eyes. It is time to return to your most feral self, the intuitive who is less concerned with form and more concerned with the beautiful mess of creation. Your biggest discomfort is your greatest strength. Like the Queen of Swords, the Moon suggests that you must trust the voice at the center of you, and that it’s time to shake things up. As an exercise, do some automatic writing, or throw a wrench into the works — take a few days to consider a character doing something bizarre or unexpected, or don't take any time, just sit down and write something that surprises you. Listen to your dreams, try to notice your surroundings, meditate and see what comes up. This is a fertile and creative moment for you, but it’s definitely time to take a new approach. Stop listening to others and listen only to yourself for awhile. Allow your discomfort to let you go deeper than you've been before.

Card 6 - Near Future — 3 of Cups

The three of cups depicts three women dancing joyfully together. This is a card of friendship. It’s super interesting to me that you are moving away from collaboration but toward friendship. This could be literal — perhaps is time for a former collaborator to become a friend. This could suggest that there is someone you have relied on in business who may need to transition into a new role in your life. Alternatively (or perhaps in addition), this card could suggest that while you must take some time to wander alone in your creative process, you should not stay lonely in life. You are moving away from pentacles and toward cups — moving out of the practicality of the material world and into the realm of emotions.

Take a walk with a friend, grab a drink or take a dance class, do something purely for the pleasure and enjoyment of the present moment. It doesn’t have to have a single thing to do with writing (although, as I’ve said previously, everything is writing). Allow the people in your life to influence you in other ways — you do not need writing advice, but you do need companionship. You don’t need notes, but maybe you should see if one of your friends would like to work side by side with you so you can be alone with your thoughts, but not literally alone. Lean on the people you love for the joy, and trust yourself for the creative way forward.

Card 7 - Advice - The Devil

The tarot’s advice comes in the form of the Devil card. The Devil is a fun one and can take on many forms depending on where it appears in the spread. If The Devil was positioned as an obstacle I might suggest that you are letting toxicity or negative thoughts keep you down, or even that you should beware of using substances (alcohol, weed, food, shopping, sex, whatever your vice is) to distract yourself from the work at hand. However, in this spread, the tarot wants you to lean into pleasure, to let loose a little. The tarot’s advice is to seek joy. If whatever part of the book you are working on is frustrating you or feeling joyless, take a couple days off and get a massage, do mushrooms, take a dance class, go out with a friend. Work on a part of the book that thrills you, that feels dangerous or subversive, even if that means skipping ahead or going back. If there’s nothing like that in the book, maybe that’s what you’re missing. Perhaps one of your characters needs a rumspringa. Go in search of pleasure. It will lead you to the truth.

Card 8 - Environment - 8 of Swords

The 8 of swords is one of the most interesting cards in the deck to me. A woman is blindfolded and bound, surrounded by eight swords that have been stuck into the ground around her. It feels scary and threatening at first glance, but look closer. There are no other figures in the card, and the castle is far off in the distance. Yes, she’s bound and blindfolded, but if she were to take off her blindfold, she’d realize that there’s no one keeping her prisoner but her own limiting beliefs (because she cannot see, she believes she is surrounded by captors — she must only remove the blindfold to realize that she is alone). Somehow your environment is making you feel captive, and it’s keeping you blindfolded and bound.

Is there someone in your life who is limiting you? (The tarot suggests this person might be a former collaborator, perhaps a teacher, mentor, or authority figure like an editor). If someone does not come to mind, perhaps it is your inner critic, scolding you for perceived infractions. I would suggest getting out of your comfort zone, and I definitely think the tarot is telling you that it’s okay to take a day off to do something fun. Write somewhere new, or take a short trip to be alone with your thoughts. Go hiking without headphones — do a walking meditation. Remind yourself that the only person holding you back is you, and instead of doing things the way you’ve always done them, give yourself permission to get a little weird. Follow your joy. Is it possible that you’ve created arbitrary rules for yourself that are no longer serving you? How could you approach your creative process in an entirely new way? 

Card 9 - Hopes and Fears - 5 of Wands

The five of wands is about creative conflict — again, can you fucking believe that these cards were just what came up when I shuffled the deck with your question in my head???? TAROT IS MAGIC. This placement and the story that is being told to me by the cards makes me think that you fear criticism. Perhaps you are preoccupied with the outcome and the critical thoughts of others, when the only voice that should matter in this moment is your own. You are the Queen of Swords. You are not a beginner. You do not need to rely on the instincts of others, your instincts are the right ones. That doesn’t mean you should refuse to take notes (although wouldn’t that be tempting?), but it definitely suggests that right now is not the moment for you to seek outside advice. Right now is a moment for you to dive deep, into joy and pleasure, trusting that your intuition will guide you back to the story you are trying to tell from a new angle. What other people think of you is none of your business. Who gives a shit what anyone else thinks of your book in this moment? What do you want to happen next? What would bring you joy as a reader? Follow those instincts, the rest is just noise.

Card 10 - Potential Outcome - The Hermit

The Hermit holds a shining lantern, beaming into the darkness of the night. The Hermit is a spiritual leader, a sage who’s wisdom comes from deep within. He trusts himself, and he ultimately becomes a guide for others. The tarot tells me that you are on a journey of self discovery, that you are on the precipice of a new creative awakening. This project is not something you should turn away from, but instead, approach it with fresh eyes. Sometimes fresh eyes can only come from stepping away for a moment, busying your heart and mind with pleasure before you return refreshed.

I think your creative process is about to take a giant leap forward if you can trust yourself to stay curious and tell yourself the truth. It’s time to try new things, shake up old systems, break a few rules. What feels overworked in your book may be an indication that you have not been trusting yourself, but instead relying on the way things have always been done. The Hermit says that it’s time to head out into the darkness with only a lantern and your intuition to guide you. The road ahead is dark and uncertain, but if you trust yourself, you will find the way.

Readers, do you have a different interpretation of this spread or something you'd like to add? Leave a comment! And remember, if you'd like me to read your cards, send me your question at WitchsMarkEli@gmail.com – tell me how you'd like to be identified in the newsletter and know that I will include your question so readers can follow along. Happy writing, Halley!